Music Snobbery Part 1 – I Believe in Country Music

This is the first part in a continuing curmudgeon series, Music Snobbery. I’m a self-professed recovering music snob. You all know music snobs. They’re (we’re?) the ones who says things like “I don’t listen to the radio”, “Metallica was shit after And Justice For All”, “I like the Silversun Pickups better when they were called Zwan” (Hi G) and the like. Today I’m examining the music snob who says “I like all kinds of music, except country.”

In Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs – A Low Culture Manifesto, Chuck Klosterman posits that music taste is used by the music snob to gauge coolness. In particular, most people who say “I like all kinds of music, except country” only say so to appear cool. I agree with Chuck; people judge other people’s cool factor by what they listen to. This is increasing measured by what’s on their Ipod (heaven fordid you have a Zune).

These folks always pick out country. You never hear anyone say “I like all kinds of music except show tunes” or “I like all kinds of music, except chamber music” or how about “I like all kinds of music, except Gregorian chants.” No, people love to pick on country music.

Well reader, I love country music. I grew up listening to it and I hear it in a lot of music that all the hipsters listen to, like:

• Wilco (big Ernest Tubbs fans)
• Neko Case
• Okkervil River
• Avett Brothers (these guys are as country as they come)
• Tallest Man on Earth
• Fleet Foxes
• X
• Lykke Li (ok, kidding here)

I don’t want to convince you to like country music, in fact a friend of mine once said “everybody has their own ears” and I agree with him. You can like and dislike whatever you want, just don’t be a snob about it.

It's About Time

Dick Jauron was fired as head coach of the Buffalo "We'll be in Toronto Soon and the Curmudgeon Will Not Have a Favourite Team" Bills. Jauron's record as head coach of the Bills was 24 wins and 33 losses.

If you don't know who Jauron is, he's the coach who stands motionless and emotionless on the sidelines while your team gets an easy win. That is unless your team is St. Louis, Detroit, Cleveland, Tampa Bay, or another bottom feeder. He's also the guy that looks like a shorter, skinnier version of Lurch. Basically like he's already been embalmed (come to think of it, he and Ralph Wilson have a lot in common).

What amazes me most about the story is that Jauron didn't see the firing coming. Four years to improve a football team and 4 years without passing 7 wins out of a 16 game season. Four years without improving an offense even after adding one of the best wide receivers of this era. Maybe that explains why he couldn't see blitzes coming in obvious passing situations; he just can't see anything.

I'd be happy about this move if it meant better things for the Bills in the future, but I doubt it. The Bills do not have a good record for hiring coaches in the post 90s era. Here are the Bills' coaches post Marv Levyand their records:

• Wade Phillips 29 wins 19 losses. Decent coaching record , but screwed up majorly by starting Rob Johnson at QB instead of Doug Flutie in the playoffs essentially costing him his job.
• Gregg Williams 17 wins 30 losses. Better defensive co-ordinator than head coach (see Redskins, Washington and Saints, New Orleans). Inexperienced when hired.
• Mike Mularkey 14 wins 18 losses. Mularkey or malarkey? Tight end coach now? Who knows and who cares?

Octogenarian Ralph Wilson had better take some time to hire a new coach and better spend some cash. There are some big names out there like Mike Shanahan, Jon Gruden, Bill Cowher, Mike Holmgren, Tony Dungy. Sure, some of them may not want to coach, but maybe we can have them be a football operations guy like Parcells in Miami. But that won't happen. They'll hire some second rate coach and continue their abysmal stretch until the eventual move to Toronto where they'll win a SuperBowl as the Toronto something or others and I'll hate it.

You Were Expecting Gretzky?

I've heard it said that the definition of crazy is repeatedly doing the same thing and expecting different results. So does that make Bryan Murray stark raving mad? Didn't he know what he was getting when he signed Alex "the artist" "AK-27" Kovalev?

I've watched Kovy for the past 5 years in a Habs uniform only to be frustrated, then dazzled, then further frustrated, then happy he was gone. Sure, he can be a game changer but more of than not he's lazy and uninterested.

Kovalev has four goals and four assists in 16 games, which puts him on pace for 41 points this season. That will change, he'll score a bunch for a week, then cool off again and likely end up somewhere near 50 points. You'd be crazy if you expected anything more.

Finally Some Comeuppance

I couldn't help but feel some joy when Captain America threw a 3 yard pass to Kevin Faulk that Faulk juggled while being pushed back a yard and half on the 4th and 2 play of last night's Monday Night Football game. Faulk was ruled down at the Patriots 28 yard line giving Peyton Manning the ball with 2 minutes left. You may recall that Captain America and the Pats stomach punched me and the rest of the Bills fans on week 1 of the season. Yes, I am petty and spiteful.

It would have felt better if it were the Bills winning the game rather than the Colts, but it seemed appropriate since NBC was calling this game part of the rivalry of the decade. Plus, I've always like Peyton. He is arguably the best quaterback ever. And no, I don't buy the "Brady has more rings" argument as a reason he's better than Manning. Aikman has more rings than Marino, but nobody thinks he's a better QB (well, maybe Taylor, but he's not exactly an objective observer). I also think that Marino was the best QB of his era, SuperBowl wins or not.

As much as I'm glad Captain America didn't stage one of his miraculous comebacks, the loss rests squarely on Bill Bilichick's shoulders. Bilichick is the head coach. It was his call to me and he is viewed by many as the greatest coach working today. Maybe he started to believe his own press. Hubris caught up with him last night.

Bilichick's hubris is well documented. Sure, the press doesn't really call it hubris, but if you look back to the 18-1 (ha! 1) season and even the game against my beloved Bills, Bilichick always makes calls that reek of hubris. Going for it on 4th and 1 twice in a game against the Bills, running up the score in every game during the 2007 season and last night was the exclamation point.

You may not agree with me. You don't have to. But you can't disagree that last night's call was the wrong call and that Bilichick's arrogance (ok, you may not use that word) finally caught up with him.

Thank you Peyton, thank you rookie corner Jerraud Powers and thank you Bilichick's hubris. You made my night and gave me something to write about after a nearly month long absence. Now if only I could find something to say about Kovalev not producing.

I'm Glad That's Over

What a week! Last night officially ended the worst week I've had in a while.

It started last Saturday. I was playing squash with a couple of friends and ran cross court for a ball that I should have let drop. Instead I pushed it and my foot turned inside effectively turning my ankle into the ball of my foot. The ankle is not built for that. Turns out I have an avulsion fracture (when a ligament or tendon pulls and takes a piece of the bone it's attached to with it). I'm in an air cast for at least 4 weeks and stuck walking around on crutches. So it seems that being lazy wouldn't have been such a bad idea.

If you've ever had to walk with crutches you know how much of a pain in the ass it is. It's hard getting to the bathroom let alone the grocery store. I've got a feeling that after 4 weeks my right calf will be a toothpick but my upper body will be rock solid. I'll look like Joe from Family Guy (without the wheels).

Not only is walking with crutches a pain in the ass, but people are rude and inconsiderate. I want to make it clear that this doesn't apply to all people. My friends and colleagues have been amazing in getting me where I need to go, helping me get groceries, and most importantly, delivering beer. But the general public completely blocks you out; no holding doors, no stepping aside to let you through; expecting you to get out of the way quickly. It amazes me. I know it shouldn't, given my past post on how stupid the world is. I just though that people, although being stupid, were at least considerate.

Anyway, I've got a week in walking with crutches and 3 more to go. It's no so bad now. I even crutched my way to a salon (shut up) to get a head and neck massage (I said shut up) and a haircut. On my way home I stopped for some organic veggies (btw, you should read Rachelle's blog, she's had some posts about local organic stuff in Ottawa and Dawn's blog, about local food with a focus on preserving) and it wasn't so bad. I was a sweaty mess, but still, it is possible to be normal-ish on crutches (next week the pub).

If that were the only thing that happened this week this post would be a bit of a call to 9-wah-wah. Nope, that is not all. I was lying down (which I do a lot now) watching old episodes of Lost waiting for my laundry to dry and I heard an accident; screeching tires and metal hitting metal. "That was close to here" I thought and milliseconds later I hear a loud bang. "That was really close" I thought.

So I grab my crutches and hobble over to the kitchen to check outside. My kitchen door is wide open. There is red brick dust all over the floor and even some pieces of brick. My front step is full of bricks. Then I notice a woman standing in my driveway on the cell phone saying "there's been an accident, the car is on fire".

It hit me immediately. The car hit my house. I'm gimpy and there's nothing I can do. I call my buddy Ryan to come by in case I have to split (gas line, power, etc.). He shows up not long after and, in true Mesheau fashion, is amazed/delighted by what he is seeing. Luckily, nobody was hurt, though there may or may not be a missing cat.

From what the police could put together, a red car hit a white Honda Civic on O'Connor and Lewis (I live here, at 438 Lewis Street). The air bags in the Civic deployed and the driver likely stepped on the gas instead of the brake. He clipped a stop sign (here's a new, temporary sign),


went through the fence (see above and below),


bounced off the corner near my entrance,





down the lane way, and into a concrete wall.



I think it's neat now, but it was dangerous. Had I been outside BBQ-ing, smoking or walking down the lane to get my laundry I'd be either dead or seriously injured. It'd be hard to jump out of the way on one leg.

Crazy week. But it could be worse. My friend lost his job and my cousins have swine flu. Perspective is everything huh?

Defending the HST

So a lot of people out there are telling you that the Ontario and BC governments are raising your taxes. How you ask? The HST they tell you. Your (un)friendly neighbourhood curmudgeon is here to tell you otherwise. The HST will save businesses money. The HST will increase investment in Ontario and BC. The HST should drive consumer prices down overall.

First, a bit of a history lesson. The Ontario and BC governments announced plans to harmonize their provincial sales taxes with the federal goods and services tax to create a combined tax; the harmonized sales tax (HST). Everyone panicked and got all up in arms thinking the price of goods and services in Ontario and BC will go up. These people are ignoring the fact that harmonization already happened in New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Newfoundland and Labrador, and Quebec. And the overall consumer prices in those provinces are no worse off than they were before. A study by Michael Smart for the CD Howe Institute suggests otherwise; consumer prices fell. But most people west of Quebec fail to recognize there is anything east of Ottawa and began to create anxiety with wild stories of tax hikes and Armageddon.

The truth is the HST is going to be good for all of you. First, the cost of doing business in Ontario and British Columbia is going way down. Business owners currently pay 8% PST in Ontario and 7% PST in BC on items consumed in operating their business; generally anything that is not directly resold or further processed or manufactured. That 8% and 7% is not currently recoverable. Post harmonization, the PST going away and is being replaced, for the most part, by the fully recoverable HST. Most businesses will pay a combined 13% or 12% and will be entitled to an equal and offsetting credit. That means there will no longer be any unrecoverable sales taxes payable by businesses. So, businesses save money.

The tax savings realized by business will lead to more investment. With more money in hand, businesses will be able to invest more in new technology and new people. We will all benefit. It's the trickle down effect, the money businesses save and invest lead to more money for other businesses and that trickles down to me and you (hopefully more to me).

It is true that consumers will initially pay more direct sales tax than we currently do as things like houses and services are subject to tax at 13% in Ontario or 12% in BC rather than the current 5% GST rate. However, those houses and services have an indirect tax component (the 8% PST in Ontario and the 7% in BC) that we currently don't see, so the true tax increase is probably more like 2% (based on a study performed a long time ago in NFLD that I cannot share with you). That indirect tax is removed and, provided vendors pass those savings along, the true impact won't be that bad.

Now there are problems, of course, like charities, colleges, universities, hospitals, etc. will pay more taxes and they generally don't recover the HST they pay in the same way as ordinary businesses. I've studied the impact on a few of these organizations and found that, due to a gracious HST rebate mechanism, they will in fact be better off. This may not be true for all, granted, but I assume that the Province will provide additional funding for those organizations that it is required to fund.

I haven't gone into hardly any detail here (BTW, this is my area of expertise), but I hope to make two points to all of you. 1) it's all going to be OK, in fact, it will probably be better after the first few years; and 2) if you run a business, pass those Ontario PST savings along. This is crucial to all of us.

One final point on whether or not the HST is a tax hike. Ontario and BC are losing their PSTs; the HST is a federal tax. While there is a complicated formula that creates a transfer payment from Canada to Ontario and BC, the truth is, harmonization will result in Ontario and BC collecting less tax, even with the transfer payment. This is not a tax hike folks, it is a reduction in overall taxes collected. Look it up, it's in the Ontario budget papers. The reason to harmonize it is to increase investment in the provinces and make the provinces more competitive in the global marketplace.

Now, sit back and relax. It's going to be OK. The world didn't end in the Atlantic Provinces and Quebec and it's not going to end in Ontario and BC.

Three Jerks on the Radio

I voiced my distaste for the Team 1200's morning show personalities in a recent post. My overall gripe is that on a morning sports radio show the hosts rarely talk about sports. Secondary to this is that they biased to the point that they don't even discuss other games. In fact, they rarely, if ever, talk about baseball, football or any sport without an Ottawa connection. Finally, they aren't funny at all. If they were funny I could probably live with the lack of sports content.

On Wednesday October 7th I conducted a bit of an experiment. I decided to track the content of the show to see if it was just me getting my hate on or if the jerks really ignore the sports content in their morning sports show.

Before I get into the details I should briefly touch on the general format during my listening time (7 am to 7:45 and 8:30 am to 8:50 am). The show has a 1 to 3 minute sports update every 20 minutes by someone other than the jerks. Pretty standard sports radio fare. So 3 to 9 minutes of every hour has guaranteed sports content. There are traffic and weather updates as well. Finally, there is a contest every day called the Dirty Dozen at around 7:30. Callers are asked 12 questions and if they get at least 6 right they win. If they don't they have to recite some stupid "I am not a man" speech.

For purposes of this experiment I've restricted my notes on the content to the discussion by the jerks. I'm ignoring the 20/20 update and the traffic and weather. The jerks get a point for every segment that involves sports and lose a point for every segment that doesn't. You'd expect the score to be above zero. Anything below zero is a fail.

Today the first words I heard from the jerks were a discussion of David Letterman's apology to his wife followed by the attractiveness, or lack thereof, of said wife. Score - 1 for the jerks.

Next up was some praise for their Swedish God's goal against a guy in his first ever NHL game (a goal he should score). Score back to even.

This was followed by an interview with Cyril Leeder, president of the Sens that began with a chat about Homer Simpson. They played the Simpsons "na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na leader" (think Batman) clip as the intro which brought Homer about. I'll be generous and give the jerks another point since Mr. Leeder has a sports connection.

The interview with Cyril Leeder continued with a request to bring back the ice girls that shovel the snow during breaks in the game. I already gave you a point for the interview, but I'm taking one away now because the request lead directly to a conversation about whether or not a girl wearing a hockey helmet was sexy. They then try to make a joke about needing to wear a helmet while ploughing (their word, not mine) your wife. Not funny at all. Score back to zero.

The Dirty Dozen was up next with the categories being New York Islanders dynasty, sports siblings and the Rideau Canal. 2 points for the jerks and 1 against since there was no sports connection to the canal questions. The jerks are above water.

At this point I went to the office to grab some supplies and came directly home to jump in the car and drive about 25 minutes west of my home. A perfect opportunity to continue the experiment. This particular portion of their show included chats about:

• Boston Candy (-1);
• teen drinking (-1);
• smashing cars (-1);
• hat trick trivia (+1);
• travelling to Jamaica (-1);
• starvation insurance (-1);
  
• fighting in hockey (+1);
• leafs suck (+1);
• Brittania drive-in (-1); and
• Letterman's wife again (-1).

You should double check my math, but the total score I have is -3. I can live with some non-sports banter from time to time, but this is an average day with more non-sports chat than sports chat, not to mention no discussion of:

• the huge playoff game between the Tigers and Twins to decide who gets to make the ALDS (the Twins won in extra innings);
• out of town hockey games, like the exhilarating Flyers v Caps game; or
• any other actual game that happened the night before or upcoming Wednesday night other than the Sens beating the Leafs.

You'd think in a city of 1,000,000 people you could find 3 interesting people, with good voices, that have sports knowledge and a bit of charm.

If you want to hear real sports radio, check out the Team 990. Sure, they talk about the Habs a lot but they also understand that there are other teams in the NHL and other sports that people are interested in hearing about.

Office Hovering

Hey Office Hoverer. You know who you are. You stand by the door hovering while I have a conversation with my colleague. You have something to say to one of us and it must be important because you just stand there waiting while we talk about whatever subject we are talking about. I assume if it wasn't important and timely you'd just go back to your desk and check in later. But you don't, you stick around, hovering. But if it's so important and timely, then why don't you interrupt us and say whatever it is you have to say. It'd be way better than having you hover there.

You Can't Buy "Being Green"

I wake up to the radio every morning. It annoys me and I'm not sure why I do it. I suppose I should just use an alarm sound, a CD, an MP3, or anything other than those 3 jerks on the Team 1200 who never talk about sports unless it's about the Swedish God Daniel Alfredsson. But my rant today isn't aimed at the Three Jerks on the Radio. No, today I've got a gripe with a particular advertisement that I hear every morning.

The ad is for a hot tub and the selling point is that this particular brand of hot tub is "green". I'm not going to name the company because they shouldn't get any free air. But I just don't see how buying a hot tub could ever be considered being green. If you buy a hot tub you are going to be using more water and energy than you currently use. Being green means consuming less energy and less water than you currently do. In fact, you should consume as little as possible. Being green does not mean buying a product that consumes less energy and water than its counterparts, especially when that particular product is one that you can live without.

Jerks.

Stomach Punch from Captain America

I didn't expect much of the Buffalo Bills this season until midway through last night's game against the hated Captain America and the New England Patriots. The Bills were ahead 14-10 after an interception by Aaron Schoebel. I began to think that win or lose this could be a decent season for the Bills. I also began to think the football Gods would not allow the Pats to win after arrogantly going for it on 4th and 1 at mid field then in Buffalo territory in the first half when conventional wisdom is to punt or take the 3 points.

Fast forward to 5:23 minutes left in the game after the Bills scored again to put them up 24-13 my pal Dino says "there's a scary amount of time left for Brady". It was the one thing I was thinking but didn't want to hear. People remember Buffalo's implosion last year and their previous poor seasons. What they don't remember is they tend to get ahead early then find a way to lose the game. So, knowing Buffalo's history and Captain America's mythical "win the game in dramatic fashion" history, I was sort of ready, or so I thought. I prepared as much as I could for the defeat but when it's Tom f'n Brady and the Pats it hurts no matter how prepared you are.

So the inevitable begins. Captain America leads his team on an 11 play drive to score a touchdown. The Pats go for 2 points, but the pass is intercepted. Maybe, just maybe, the football Gods are mad at the Pats. Then the Pats kick the ball off. Leodis McKelvin catches the ball in the endzone and rather than take a knee, he runs up the middle of the field and proceeds to fumble the ball at the Buffalo 31 yard line. The football Gods wanted you to take the knee, start at the 20 yard line and eat the clock. How freaking hard is that? So the Pats have great field position and the comeback continues.

The Pats went on to win 25-24. Now I like to think I'm ready for the season. A season probably better than most expect but a season with tough losses that the Bills should have hung on to win. I feel like a pugilist using a medicine ball on my gut to toughen it up for stomach punch after stomach punch. I'm ready. Then I remember a Mike Tyson quote. "Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face".

Halifax Trip

I've been really bad at posting lately. I'd like to say it's because I'm busy, but that'd be a lie. I just haven't been annoyed that much recently. Sure there are a few things here and there, but nothing that makes me want to go off on somebody or something. I am working on a continuing series of rants and I have the ideas in my head, I'm just having a hard time putting pen to paper.

Anyway, enough with the excuses. This post has a very small curmudgeon quotient but I had to share a few things with you from my trip to Halifax this weekend. It was my cousin Dr. DJ AA's stag party. We went fishing, played poker and drank copious amounts of Propeller Pumphouse SOB (highly recommended). I have nothing bad to say about the event at all, though losing to SOB Dr. DJ AA with A-A-6-6-J to A-A-6-6-K spoiled the night until the next shot of Occidental.

What I want to share with you is two of the craziest things I've ever seen at an airport and a warning about travelling. Dr. DJ AA (it may in fact be DJ Dr. AA, I'll have to ask him) was dropping me off at 10:30 am in the morning. I opened the door and got out of the Caravan (or Voyager, again I'll have to ask) and see a man standing just beside the van with his back to the airport wall. He looks like any other business traveller in Halifax; khaki pants, dress shirt, windbreaker coat folded over his arm, and luggage. Just as I step onto the pavement and am about to turn around to open the back door of the van I hear that distinctive psst sound of a beer cap twisting off a bottle. Then this typical business man begins to down a full bottle of Moosehead (green). I immediately hear Dr. DJ AA begin to laugh and I say "did you just see that" and he says "yep." Crazy. I can't believe I saw that. I realize it's not that hard to believe, but if you had seen it and just realized how business like this guys looked, you wouldn't believe it either. He was all business about getting that St. Saint John brewed lager into him too.

So I'm in the Halifax airport waiting in the security line and about to send a message about this crazy thing I saw when I see another crazy thing. I see a woman, likely in her 50s, walking to the security check. She looks like a business traveller as well. I notice she is pulling her wheeled luggage and see something sparkle. I check out the luggage and the thing has chrome wheels. I'm talking Xzibit pimp my ride chrome wheels. The chorus of "One of these things is not like the other" immediately chimes in my head.

Now for your travel advisory warning. You know when you are leaving a hotel room and you get that feeling that you left something behind. Do not just think "ah, it's nothing, if I did it's likely toothpaste." It could be your Ipod. You could have to call the hotel and arrange for someone to pick it up and send it back to you. You could have to pay what I like to call "the dumb-ass tax."

I hope your weekend was as good as mine.

Ottawa Does it Again

Since I moved into my new apartment in June of 2008, summer's have been a mess. The city of Ottawa has been renovating Bank Street, tearing out the old street, fixing whatever is wrong underneath and then repaving. It's created a mess of dust and a foul stench during the hot days of summer.

This summer the city added a new wrinkle. You can no longer access Bank street from Lewis because Lewis is a one way street. To allow those folks who can only leave their houses from Lewis to legally drive to the next intersection the city temporarily made Lewis a two way street. It's a bit of an annoyance since the street is not built for two way traffic, but there isn't really a ton of traffic on the street and I walk or bike most places anyhow.

Today I read this article in the Ottawa Citizen. The city is fining people who park on Lewis facing west, which is the ordinary direction traffic flows when the street is a one way street. People are steaming and I don't blame them.

I'm going to sound like I'm mimicking the article's author, but that's because I fully agree with Hugh. Because of the reconstruction project Bank street businesses are hurting. If you fine people who decide to deal with the annoyance of walking down a dirt sidewalk to shop at the Herb and Spice store or grab a pint at the James Street Pub for facing the wrong direction in a parking spot, a wrong direction that is ordinarily the right direction, you are going to make people think twice about heading to Bank street. It's already a mess and a pain in the ass to navigate around. Adding a $35 fine is just the cherry on top.

I've had issues with Ottawa parking police in the past. I've fought every ticket and won each fight. I think it's because they are generally over-agressive. But this story just takes the cake.

Great job Ottawa. Way to help out the Bank street businesses.

My Love/Hate Relationship

In case you hadn't already figured it out, I'm a Habs fan. It's kinda weird, because I love the team, but I hate Habs fans. They're obnoxious, rude,they love to hate their team, they'll turn on their own in an instant and turn on you as a non-fan even quicker. And now, some douche has sunk to a new low. Check out this post. The guy is blaming players for shit that hasn't even happened yet. He's expecting a bad season and pinning the blame before the pre-season even starts.

I'd almost rather be a fan of the Leafs who think anyone with a leaf on their jersey is the greatest player in the world and they always have a chance to win the cup. Ignorance is bliss they say.

Easy Target

These were the top two headlines for the Report on Business Section on the front page of theglobeandmail.com when I checked in after lunch on Tuesday:

• BMO profit rises to $557-million; and


• Number of EI recipients rises in June.

BMO's profits are up 6.9% from a year ago and have more than recovered from a drop that began in the fall. In contrast, there has been a 73% increase in EI recipients over the past year, the largest annual gain since the early 1980s.

Thank God the banks are doing well. I was really worried about them.

I know banks are easy targets and the goal in a capitalist society is to increase profits, but to see bank profits rise while more people are on pogie really irks me. Especially given the ridiculous fees banks charge their customers for the right to access their own money. There was a time when banks earned money by lending the money you kept in your account with them. Their profits were based on interest rates. Now banks make money charging you $10 a month for an account plus $1.50 per transaction at ABMs, Interact machines, etc. and even more if you go to the wrong bank.

They used to say there are two guarantees in life; death and taxes. I submit there are three; death, taxes and banks making money.

Whatever Happened to Customer Service?

I've spent the past week plus trying to get my wireless smart phone up and running. Most of the trouble I've had can be traced to my service provider. I won't name them, but they provide me with my cable, Internet and wireless service. The astute among you will be able to figure it out.

The story begins on July 25, 2008, the day my cell phone stopped working. I had a Motorola Razor and I was quite happy with it. But all of a sudden, the screen stopped working. It just stayed black. While I could still use the phone to call people, I had no idea how to call people since most of my contact list is not committed to memory. So I had to replace the phone.

This all happened at the time when the IPhone was released so I thought I'd try my hand at one of those spiffy devices. My friend had one and I liked it a lot. I was due for an upgrade through my service provider and asked about the potential of getting the IPhone and the right to pay my service provider an extra $30 per month for a data plan.

"You're on the corporate plan." says the service rep.

"Oh yea," I say, "well I don't work for that employer any more, but whatever."

"Well," says the rep "because you are on the corporate plan you can't get the IPhone for the stated price. You have to pay $699."

"Then take me off the corporate plan." I say.

"Well, then it's like you are starting a new plan and aren't eligible for an upgrade and you'd still have to pay $699." says the rep.

"What?" I ask. "You mean that some homeless guy off the street can get the IPhone for $199 or whatever and I can't?"

"Um, yea."

At this point I'm getting frustrated. "What is the benefit of the corporate plan?" I ask.

"You get a better voice plan." says the rep.

I settle for another Razor. It had treated me well and I wasn't in the mood to fight with some guy that had little power or desire to help me anyhow. The phone cost me $20 and a 3 year commitment. Fast forward 1 year plus 1 week or so later and my Razor dies again. Same problem.

"I'm going to the service provider today and they are giving me a free phone and they are not making me sign an extended contract." I proudly proclaimed to my colleague. So I traipse down to my service providers' nearest location and ask for a free phone. Of course I get a lot of resistance, even though I've been a customer for 10 years and pay them more than $200 a month. After much back and forth I learn that they can do nothing for me unless I sign up for another 3 year plan. I can get a free phone if I want.

"But the phone is only a year old." I complain.

"Yea, but the warranty expired last week." is the response. At this point that I'm upset, but I can see there is no sense in arguing with this guy. Again, he has no power and he doesn't care. He's more interested in the girls walking down the street that he can see through the window. So, I settle for a free phone with the shortest contract commitment possible (which also happened to be the longest; 3 years).

I had the phone about 18 hours when I decided it was not the phone for me. I don't have a land line and since I use it all the time, I figured I should like my phone a lot. I convinced myself it was time to upgrade to a smart phone. So I go back to the service provider to see if the IPhone deals are any better for me since they have a $99 price point now. I knew I would get the same story, because I'm still on the corporate plan, but didn't see any harm in trying. So, I ask if I get can the IPhone for $99.

"Of course." replies the rep. "You should too. You'll love it." So he starts the process of setting me up on the IPhone. He's going through the system, typing away and asking me questions. I'm starting to think this is going to work. All of a sudden he makes a funny sound like he's not sure what's going on.

"Oh" he says, "you're on the corporate plan." He then explains that the cost 0f the IPhone for me is now $400 (a nice drop from $699). I ask about the Blackberry and they are roughly the same price. Essentially, I have to pay $300 more for an IPhone or $100 more for a Blackberry than somebody they have no history with. I even say this and he doesn't seem to care too much.

I ask again, "what is the benefit of being on this corporate plan?"

"Well, you own the phone." was the response this time. Now I've been a client of this service provider for some time and so is half of Ontario (or more). Everyone that buys a phone and signs up for a contract owns the phone. I explain this and the guy just looks at me like I explained the Pythagorean theorem to him in Mandarin.

"OK, get me off the corporate plan!" I demand.

"Sure." he says. He goes through the motions of taking me off the plan but stops.

"Um, you know the price of the phones won't change for you because we don't have any history of you.". I had heard this the previous year.

"OK, then cancel my plan altogether, I'm going somewhere else." I say thinking I'll trick them into bending over for me and pleasing the customer.

"Sure." he says, "but you'll have to pay us $20 for every month you committed too and didn't honour, about $460."

I'm losing my will to fight at this point.

"Fine." I say, "Keep me on the corporate plan and get me a Blackberry."

I decided to bend over, drop my pants and pay the extra $100 for the Blackberry. I chose the Blackberry because my employer does not support the IPhone and I wouldn't be able to receive work related messages. In retrospect this doesn't seem like the most logical decision making process. Do I really want work related e-mail messages?

"We don't have the model you want in stock today." he says. "But it will be here tomorrow. We'll set you up on a loaner phone and get you into the Blackberry tomorrow night."

I go to my IT department to make sure the model I'm getting is kosher with the network and all that jazz. They tell me I need to make sure I'm on the enterprise data plan and not the Internet data plan. I ask if they will know what I'm referring to and they assure me this happens all the time and my service provider should be well aware of the enterprise data plan.

So I go back to the service provider's location and I tell the rep that I need to be on an enterprise data plan, not the ordinary Internet data plan. I get the same blank look as the night before (remember, Pythagorean + Mandarin = dumb).

"There are two types of plans." I explain. "My employer only supports one. So if I want to get my work e-mail, I need the enterprise plan."

"All of our plans support enterprise." is the response. In fact, the rep went on to say "We're not (insert name of competition here)." He was being very indignant about the competition and bragging about his employer. He could tell I wasn't buying it and apologized. So he signs me up for a data plan.

I go to work the next day and install the necessary software and passwords so I can get my work e-mail linked with the Blackberry but it doesn't work. "You have the Internet data plan." my IT colleague tells me.

"Of course I do." I say. At this point I'm not surprised at all. I call the service provider to have the plan changed. I was on a 750MB a month plan, with no charge for overages for the first two months and an option to upgrade to 6GB per month for $30.

"You can't have the plan you initially purchased on the enterprise package." the service provider tells me. "Your choices are 7MB per month for $40 or 1GB per month for $45." "Also, you need to change your voice plan and addons like voicemail and texting." Essentially, my wireless bill is going up by $50 instead of the estimated $30 because of this corporate plan.

"OK, fine." I say. I'm getting used to being screwed over by now. "But wait, you mean 700MB per month right?"

"No, it is 7MB or 1GB for an extra $5." she says, which leaves me wondering who would get a 7MB data plan.

"OK, gimme the 1GB. And by the way, what is the benefit of this corporate plan again?"

"I don't know." This was the first honest answer I've had from any representative of the service provider.

My phone is working now, but I feel like Jody Foster in The Accused and I'm left with the following questions:

1. When did big companies stop caring about their customers? I have been a customer of theirs for 10 years and spend over $200 a month and they couldn't give me one damn free phone. I'd have settled for any piece of crap that dials and rings when its called (at first anyway).
   
2. Why don't the service reps know what they are talking about? They thought I could get an IPhone at a normal price and couldn't. They didn't know about the enterprise vs Internet data plan issue even after I told them about it.
3. Why do they offer these special plans that just cost you more money? I save $10 a month on a voice plan but have to pay $15 a month more for data, plus more for texting and voicemail, and $100 more for hardware. Hardly seems like a deal to me.

I've spoken to many friends and colleagues who are having the same issues their service providers. Even the service providers with different names have the same lack of service. Until Canada gets a real competitive market in telecommunications everyone better stock up on KY jelly.

Sometimes I Hate Grand Lake

Ok, the title isn't entirely true. I love Grand Lake, always. But when I was there last on vacation I saw many things that really grind my gears (technically many things, but one general thing in many forms).

If you've read my blog before you know that I like to think I'm environmentally friendly. Grand Lake is one of those places that make you want to be environmentally friendly. You have a huge beautiful lake, a picturesque back lake, plenty of forest, and even a family of osprey. My girlfriend even saw a deer during one of her bike rides.

I brought my bike with me to Grand Lake to 1) burn off Nana's cookies, cakes and pies and 2) to take in the sights. However I was just a few feet past the camps (their camps in NB, not cottages) and getting into the less populated area of the ride when I saw the first thing that upset me; a Tim Horton's cup. "It's alright", I think. It's just one litterer, or maybe a careless truck driver who's garbage flew out of the truck bed. Then, not even one full pedal of the bike later I see an empty box of Alpine, then a can of Alpine, then a pillow (a pillow!?!), then another Tim Horton's cup. It went on and on and on. The side of the road is littered with litter. It was like watching that episode of Mad Men when they just threw their garbage anywhere while on picnic.

Come on people of Grand Lake. It isn't that hard to find a garbage can. There's one just a few kilometres away in Douglas Harbour. You're ruining what is a beautiful part of the province. In fact, prior to re-branding NB's slogan to "Be...in this place" NB used to be the "Picture Province".

It's no surprise that given this lack of eco-friendliness that the area of the lake that was public (actually privately owned, but generously available for public use) is no longer. The owner decided that they didn't want to put up with the filth that people leave behind (even diapers). It's also no surprise that people ignore the no trespassing signs and continue to use the beach and litter. I implore you NBers and Grand Lakers, stop littering. You're really messing up my bike ride and picture taking. Maybe you think that you alone can't stop garbage from piling up. Well if everyone thought that way we'd end up with a big garbage island somewhere in the Pacific twice the size of Texas. Wait, what? We have one?

What Does It Take to Fire a Guy

I'm delving into uncharted territory here. I'm going to discuss something I know little about and I'm admitting it.

Alex Rios was claimed off waivers by the Chicago White Sox today essentially taking him off the books of the Blow Jerks and saving them $60 gazillion dollars or something like that.

I'm no fan of the Blow Jerks or boreball but I casually follow it (read I watch the Toronto Sports Network and have to follow it). So this JP Ricciardi guy has been managing the Blow Jerks for some time now and was supposed to bring in moneyball (some sort of state lottery I think). Rather he brought in spend money and drop ball.

According to some blogger on the Toronto Sports Network he wasted money on Frank Thomas, BJ Ryan, AJ Burnett, Vernon Wells, and now is losing Alex "His name is Rios and he dances in the sand" for nothing. How do you lose a player who is under contract for nothing these days? Couldn't they at least have traded him for Ozzie Guillen's goatee or a hat?

Maybe the better question is how is it that Ricciardi still has a job in Toronto?

Don't You Know Who I Am?

A few months ago a colleague of mine told me two disparate stories of encounters with athletes. The first story involved a couple on vacation at a resort and a wonderful encounter with a super bowl winner. The second involved a couple at a bar in Chicago and an encounter with a dickhead hockey player.

The couple at the resort met a large, long haired man who was nothing but kind. They shared a table, dinner and drinks. The large man and his wife left before the couple. When the couple went to pay for their dinner they found that the large man had paid for them. They asked the server who the man was and the response was Troy Polamalu. They had no idea who he was but had nothing but nice things to say about him.

The next story is of a couple at a bar in Chicago. A young kid is at the bar and asks the couple if they want their picture taken with him. They had no idea who he was and said no. He says "don't you know who I am?" to them. They still say no. He pulls out his blackberry and googles "Patrick Kane". He proceeds to show them a picture of himself and asks "Do you want your picture taken with me now?". No remained the response.

When I first heard these stories I wasn't sure if I should believe them. I believe that Troy Polamalu is an unassuming man and kind (all the interviews I've seen and read support this view). I also believe that certain sports celebrities can be dickheads, so I didn't totally dismiss the Patrick Kane story. But to go as far as taking out your blackberry and googling yourself seemed a bit of a stretch. Then I read this story and I believed every word of the story I heard from my colleague. He even said "Don't you know who I am" to the cabbie!

I've always had a love/hate relationship with sports. I love sports but I generally hate athletes. I hate athletes because I'm not good at sports. But I also hate that they are placed on a pedestal and looked up to from the day they start winning games in high school. They are coddled and given special treatment all of their lives. That's why you get people like Patrick Kane, Donte Stalworth, Kobe Bryant, OJ, Heatley, and others acting the way they do and generally getting away with it. They think they are special because we treat them special. They think they can get away with things because we let them get away with things.

Unfortunately what this does is paint athletes like Troy Polamalu with the same brush as athletes who take what they have for granted. I knew some nice jocks in High School and university. But they were the exception rather than the rule. Most of them were (and likely still are) dickheads like Patrick Kane.

Sometimes I Hate Ottawa

This city can get me pretty riled up when I think about how stupid it is. Check out this article in the Ottawa Citizen. I'll summarize for the lazy reader:

The city bylaw officers told the owner of a gallery and cafe to remove a small table and two chairs that were on the sidewalk. The owner didn't have a permit to have the table and chairs on the sidewalk.

First, it seems silly that you need a permit for a tiny table and two chairs, but I understand bureaucracy (well, I understand it exists anyway). But in my mind it's really just city authority figures flexing their muscles; city authority figures love to flex their muscles, from parking attendants to city police who really wanted to be in the RCMP but didn't have the grades. They could have left a single table and set of chairs on the sidewalk in the market where 21 year olds frequently vomit from partying too much at 5pm on a Saturday (true story, had to walk around it).

Second, the city of Ottawa's tourism calendar used a photo of the table and chairs sitting on the sidewalk. The city is removing something it uses to promote itself. City to tourists "Come to Ottawa, we have these nice tables outside of our bistros." City to bistro owners "you got a permit for that table? No? Better put that back inside."

This isn't the first time the city made itself look stupid. Just last week KISS were visiting as part of bluesfest. The "acting mayor" (our "elected" mayor is on trial for influence peddling) announced plans to have a Shannon Tweed day in your capital city. Ms. Tweed was Miss Ottawa Valley 1977, so there is a tenuous connection to Bytowne. Well the acting mayor spoke too soon as several councillors objected to Shannon Tweed day feeling she was not worthy because of her, umm, unsavoury acting choices. Nice move boneheads. Did you not realize that Ms. Tweed and her husband star in a reality show? Did you not think for a second that this would be a great hook for an episode? And how did you feel when Oshawa announced they'd roll out the red carpet and proclaim a Shannon Tweed day? Silly I bet.

My final gripe to speak of today (as I have many with this large town we call a city) is with its inhabitants, particularly those that live in the Glebe. The Glebe is a trendyish part of town and happens to be the location of the Lansdowne Park and Frank Clair Stadium. The folks living in the Glebe (we'll call them Glebites) aren't generally fond of the park and the stadium. Well, that's not entirely true, they like the park just fine on Sundays when the farmers market is open. What they don't like is lively crowds at football games or Rolling Stones Concerts.

These Glebites really get my goat. Lansdowne Park has been holding exhibits since 1868. Football (rugby) began being played at Lansdowne in 1878. You've been alive for how long? Didn't it ever occur to you before moving into a house near Lansdowne Park that there may be a crowd from time to time? I mean, it's been there for more than 230 years, there have been crowds there for more than 230 years. Maybe the local farmers weren't as loud as the Stones (we should ask Keith), but I'll bet 230 years ago the farming exhibit and rugby were the only attractions in town and had their fair share of loud and unruly folk.

Ottawa is known to have a bit of an inferiority complex. It thinks other cities like Toronto and Montreal, look down on them. They feel like their not a real city. Well, they do look down on us and we are not a real city and it's all your fault.

Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking

I've been out of the real world for the past week and a half attending bluesfest. I was alerted to this report by my friend Siobhan. Goldman Sachs and JP Morgan Chase reported huge profits for the past quarter, less than a year after taking US taxpayer dollars to ensure their viability. The bailout numbers are staggering and are even hard to comprehend to someone who deals in 7 to 9 figures every day (not my own):

• Goldman Sachs received $13,000,000,000; and
  
• JP Morgan Chase received $25,000,000,000.

Not only did the US government provide the above aid to the financial institutions, they guaranteed the "toxic assets" held by the institutions. The toxic assets are essentially the loans that they, or other banks, made to people who couldn't afford to pay them back for overvalued homes.

Now, just a few short months later, each of the above banks is showing a profit for the last two quarters, as follows;

• Goldman Sachs - $1,800,000,000 and $3,440,000,000 for a total of $5,240,000,000; and
  
• JP Morgan Chase - $2,000,000,000 and $2,720,000,000 for a total of $4,720,000,000.

The banks that needed the bailout money so badly to ensure their viability turned a profit in just 8 months, which begs the question "did they really need the money?" Probably not, but the question that is baffling me right now is "where's the outrage?" Aside from some jokes from Letterman, Stewart and the rest of the late night gang, there's little to no reaction from the American public. What gives Yankees? Don't you care about how your government spends your money? Do you even know what's going on or are you too busy watching Lance Armstrong in a race you only care about because Lance Armstrong is in it?

I started this column wanting to complain about the banks in the US for pulling the wool over the eyes of the public and just being the dirty, rotten, filthy, stinking rich pigs they have always been. But now I think the public is dirty, rotten, filthy, stinkingly apathetic and if you keep letting them get away with it then you deserve it.

You Don't Care and You're Lazy

So I mentioned how Bluesfest won an award for their environmental efforts in a previous blog. It seems like every 20 yards or so there's a trash can/compost bin/plastic, glass and can recycling bin, and the cupsuckers. I don't know the exact figure, but I've never had to walk very far to dispose of my garbage or recycling.

Last night, after the Drive by Truckers, we went to grab a bite to eat and watched the people clear out of Lebreton Flats. After about 20 minutes, the festival grounds were pretty empty and I was amazed at how much trash was on the ground. You could barely take a few steps without hearing a beer cup or beer can crush under your feet. I was further amazed at trash on the ground right beside the trash can/compost bin/plastic, glass and can recycling bin, and the cupsuckers.

Are you that freaking lazy people? The organizers went a long way to place these things just about everywhere and you can't walk a few metres to dispose of your trash?

For shame people. For shame.

You Sold Out! Damn Right We Did.

We were at the KISS show on Wednesday night and my friend remarked "those guys are nothing but product." I suppose it's true, but they've always been; they had KISS dolls in the 70s, KISS movies, etc. So it got me thinking about sell-outs.

I remember discovering Metallica in the 80s, not discovering them like Dr. Dre discovered Eminem, but hearing them for the first time. I had no idea they even existed. You have to understand living in a small village in New Brunswick does not lend itself to discovering music that isn't on the country or classic rock radio stations or MuchMusic (ah, the Pepsi Power Hour and the New Music). So when I met some headbangers listening to Master of Puppets, I was immediately hooked.

I bought And Justice For All the first day it was released and wore that cassette out. Then Metallica released a video for One (a video?!). I recall my friends at the time immediately calling them sell-outs. "Metallica doesn't need a video" they'd say. I think they feared the mainstream music fans (though Metallica was arguably mainstream for the metal genre at the time) would jump on the band wagon. Not long after Metallica hired Bob Rock (Bob Rock, the guy from the Payollas?!?!) to produce the follow up to And Justice For All, the Black Album (actually, it was untitled, but it was all black save for a bit of lighter black in the shape of a snake). If you were a Metallica fan and didn't believe they sold out with the video for One, you almost certainly believed they did with the release of the Black Album.

Fast forward to today and selling out is de rigeur. Bands sell out all the time. Look at U2, selling ads for not only Apple (the original black Ipod), but now for one of Apple's major competitors Research in Motion (the Blackberry). Kings of Leon sold their song "Molly's Chamber" to Volkswagen. Feist practically made her career selling her song to Apple.

Not only do artists sell themselves for advertising, you get guys like Flavor Flav, Vince Neil, Bret Michaels, Gene Simmons (though he arguably never sold-out since they've always been all about the marketing), Snoop Dogg, and countless others starring in reality shows. The list goes on and on and on and nobody even bats an eye. What the hell happened?

Some may say that bands started selling out when we started stealing music. They stopped making money selling records and were forced to find new revenue streams. So you might think it's our fault at least in part. Screw that, I'm not taking responsibility for some cheesy 80s hair metal singer signing his name to star in "I'm a Celebrity and You Want to Sleep With Me".

The most common definition of selling out is to do something that makes you more successful and more money that you wouldn't ordinarily do. Like Metallica making a video or hiring Bob Rock, like U2 and Feist pimping Ipods, like KISS putting their name on anything that doesn't move. But wait, isn't that the point? Don't bands want to become successful and make money? Aren't bands sell outs the second they decide make a living as a band. It continues on to the point they sign with a major label and it never ends (see KISS and 2, U). While they may be considered "artists", they're still in it for success and money; that's the whole point isn't it?

Even Kurt Cobain, the man who many think killed himself to avoid being the record company's pawn and selling out, was a sell-out from the start. He claims his first concert was a Melvins show when it was Sammy Haggar. He claims he used to live under a bridge, which he didn't. He privately complained about MTV not playing Smells Like Teen Spirit enough while publicly complaining about being a rock star. He carefully cultivated his image, but, from the start, he always wanted to be a rock star. Check out Heavier Than Heaven if you don't believe me. Don't read Come As You Are as fact, Cobain had a hand in writing it. It was used as a vehicle to cultivate his image.

Don't get me wrong, I love Cobain and think the music was great. But he was the same as every other guy or gal in a band; he wanted to succeed and to be a star.

Bands always have been and always will be sell-outs. It's all about the benjamins and at least Puff Daddy had the guts to tell you so.

The National Part Deux (or Shut up and Sing)

I saw the National again tonight, but this time at Bluesfest. They were much tighter than the first time I saw them earlier this year. The show was great and I really have nothing bad to say about their set or their sound; it was awesome. But two things happened at the show that grinded my gears.

First, there was some bad weather. It rained about 3 songs into the show. It's been raining regularly Bluesfest and we now go prepared with raincoats and umbrellas. So we open said umbrella and apparently obstructed the view of some biatch behind us (you'll see why she's a biatch shortly). I appreciate that an umbrella can obstruct your view. I also appreciate you coming to tell me that the umbrella is obstructing your view in a polite manner rather than poking my girlfriend and saying "Are you serious?!?!There are people behind you!" No shit? There are people behind us at a concert? I had no idea. Whatever happened to politeness? There really is a better way to say that and it's not that hard. It involves a magic word that I'm sure Bert and Ernie taught you once.

The second thing that annoyed me has annoyed me with bands for years. From the Dixie Chicks to U2 and even to Pearl Jam, bands have felt the need to pass their political and social agendas on to their fans during shows. I don't mind if bands are political or work towards raising awareness for a cause or do whatever it is they do. In fact I applaud it. But I don't like it when a band stops playing a third of the way through their less than one hour set, grabs a sheet of paper (you didn't even memorize it?) and wastes five minutes telling me about World Aid. I came to see you sing. Shut up and sing.

Great show though.

Freebird

I saw Steve Earle last night. I've been wanting to see Steve Earle for about 20 years, since I first heard "Guitar Town". We parted ways sometimes after the release of "The Hard Way", his fourth album. However, I rediscovered him when he released "Jerusalem" and went through his back catalogue to see what I missed. I missed a lot, some of his best work.

It was a great show. Just Steve, an acoustic and a harmonica, though the guitar was replaced by other string instruments from time to time. Steve just released an album called Townes, a tribute, consisting entirely of Townes Van Zandt covers. It's a beautiful album and makes for a beautiful show, soft, quiet and touching.

I hated being at that show last night. Not because of Steve or the music, it was a great show, hitting some classics like "My Old Friend the Blues", my favourite lyrical song of all time "Poncho and Lefty" and some of his renaissance songs like "Jerusalem" and "City of Immigrants". I hated the show because of all you one hit wonder lovers that can't just sit and enjoy a performance. You have to get loaded and yell out your request all night long. Note the singular use of the word request. Every drunk meathead at the Steve Earle show knew one Steve Earle song and felt like they had to yell at him to play it all night. Did you really think he wouldn't play it? Or, an even better question is; if you only wanted to hear one song, why did you even go to the show?

At one point during the show a particularly annoying drunk was yelling the title of the song he (and most other drunks) wanted to hear. Steve says "You better be careful man or you're gonna puke on that girl in front of you. I heard you the first time and I'm either gonna play it or I'm not." In other words, fuck you. That made my night.

Of course he played the song. My girlfriend noted that he didn't seem to enjoy it. I believe her exact words were "he looked like he was a slave to that song." He is. It's a fine song, but he's released 10 albums over the 21 years since that song has been released. It's time to move on.

Bluesfest Day One

My first band at Bluesfest was the Black Keys, not Flash Lightning as I had initially intended. The rain kept me off my schedule for the first act, but there was no way I was missing the Black Keys.

I arrived before the start of the show and grabbed a spot near the sound tent. This is my favourite spot to see a show. I always figure the best sound is near the sound engineers. The band started and I immediately loved that Bluesfest was back when I felt the beat of the bass drum on my chest.

The start of the show was a half good, half bad. Patrick, the drummer was amazing. The key can really beat the skins (ba dum bum). The singer, I forget his name but he looks like Charlie from Lost (but not Merry from Lord of the Rings), was fiddling around with gear a lot to get the sound of the guitar right. This is an important step for a band like the Black Keys since, like the White Stripes, they are only a two piece band. Also like the White Stripes, they put out a big sound that amazes you they there are only two of them. But after a few songs they had it and were awesome. No complaints here. This was the band I went to see this night and they didn’t disappoint.

I had no idea what I was going to do next. Jeff Beck was playing and I feel like I should like Jeff Beck. I don’t. So we perused the artists playing on other stages; Eric Lindell, John Campbell John, Van Der Graaf Generator, and Sergent Garcia. We hadn’t heard of any of them so decided to choose by best name. So, it was down to Van Der Graaf Generator and Sergent Garcia. Sergent Garcia was playing at the Black Sheep stage, a stage that generally hosts great, eclectic, up and coming bands.

Sergent Garcia was ok. I had fun, but I really wanted to see two other acts; Ibrahim Ferrer and Manu Chao. You see, if Ibrahim Ferrer and Manu Chao had a bunch of kids that formed a band, it would be Sergent Garcia. Not a bad thing per se, but not great either. At one point I said to my girlfriend “I bet they play Guantanamera”. Sure enough, when the string player picked up the Cuban Tres, he began Guantanamera and turned it into a sing along. I suspect Guantanamera is to Cuban bands as Barrett’s Privateers is to Maritime bands. You have to have it on your set list even though you don’t want to (and the crowd usually doesn’t either, unless they’re tourists).

All in all it was a good start to the festival. I’m glad I went and didn’t get wet.

Also, I am very impressed with Bluesfest’s green initiatives. Here’s what the media release:

For the past three years, the Ottawa Bluesfest organization has been recognized by the Recycling Council of Ontario with an Award for Waste Minimization'. The festival is asking all patrons to help make this festival the greenest event in Ontario. The Cisco Ottawa Bluesfest is the use of an innovative recycling receptacle, known as the ClearStream CycleMax. Field studies have proven that the ClearStream is extremely successful in the recovery of recyclable materials and greatly reduces the amount of litter sent to landfill sites. The ClearStream CycleMax utilizes a clear bag that is re-usable. As well, we have a new composting program onsite. Everything from food scraps to serving ware is compostable and can be placed in the new green bins. Please help us divert as much garbage to landfill by composting.

Don't forget to use the very popular and successful Cupsuckers. In conjunction with Molson Canada, Bluesfest continues to utilize compostable beer cups made from corn. Of the more than 200,000 cups that are used, 99% are separately disposed of without harming the environment. Please place your cups in the Cupsuckers located next to each garbage can. Bluesfest organizers will also encourage people to bicycle to the event by providing supervised bike parking.

Kudos to all the Bluesfest organizers on your green initiatives and awards. Shame on all you attendees for not using the cupsuckers, recycle bins, compost bins, and garbage bins.

Bye bye Joe

This post is a bit of a reversal. I will be praising someone, specifically Joe Sakic. Joe Sakic is one of the greatest hockey players of my lifetime. He doesn't hold the record for most goals, assists, or points (though he is 14th, 8th and 11th respectively), but he was a consummate professional, never once involved in any type of scandal or me first scenario and he played his entire career with the same franchise, the Quebec Nordiques/Colorado Avalanche.

It is a rarity in sports today where you have an athlete spend their entire career with the same team. To me, this says a lot about Joe. Joe chose to be loyal to his team, even through the recent bad years. But if you look at it another way, his team chose to be loyal to him. Why did Joe stay when Forsberg left, Foote left, Tanguay left, etc. To me, this says even more about Joe. Even as his skills were declining (sorry but it's true) the Avs wanted Joe to stay and you never once heard his name in any trade rumours and always sort of knew he'd retire with his team.

So cheers to Joe. We'll miss you, especially this February in Vancouver.

A Note to Sens Fans

Dear Sens fans,

I've heard a lot of talk over the last couple of days over the signing of enigmatic winger Alexei Kovalev. Mostly fans are taking a wait and see approach, but the comment I hear more often than not is "I hope we get the good Kovalev and not the one that doesn't show up all the time". Newsflash: there is only one Alexei Kovalev. He is good but doesn't show up all the time, or as Kovy puts it, he tries too hard. There aren't two Kovalev's that take turns from game to game.

He'll be great on a line with Spezza. He may score 85 points this season, he may score 55. Either way, he will light it up one game and not show up for 3. But don't think that there's a good twin and a bad twin. There's only one Alexei Kovalev and you have to take the bad with the good.

Look at it this way. You're losing a guy that skates around with his stick in the air half the time (IF he ever accepts a trade) and getting a guy who shows up half the time. At least the new guy's salary is $2.5 million less than the ingrate's.

Bluesfest

Tomorrow is the start of Bluesfest, my favourite time of the year in Ottawa. I’m looking forward to 12 straight days of music. You can check out my itinerary here. It’s optimistic, but I’m hoping to see most of those bands.

Bluesfest has continued to impress me over the years. It first started with the cup suckers (a nifty tube to drop your used beer cups in), then the corn based beer cups and the bike valets. Not to mention the music. I’ve seen some of my favourites, like Wilco, Primus, Snoop, and Manu Chao, and introduced to bands I hadn’t heard at the time, like Gogol Bordello, Broken Social Scene and Metric.

I do however have one gripe with Bluesfest; the chair dwellers. I have no issue with you bringing a chair to an outdoor show, especially one that runs all day Saturday and Sunday. I have an issue with you planting your chair near the stage and sitting during the show. I have an even bigger issue with those of you that get upset with those of us who like to get close and, by virtue of your choice to remain seated, block your seated view. Also, it really crowds the front area when you and your chair take up as much space as two people.

This problem was seemingly solved a few years ago when there was a dedicated section for people with chairs. It looked a bit silly though. It even prompted Jeff Tweedy to joke that he didn’t know most Wilco fans were in wheelchairs. The solution only lasted a year, coincidentally, the last year the festival was on city hall grounds.

So I’m begging you all who attend the festival this year, please, please, please, if you bring a chair, try to find a spot that is not only convenient for you, but that is convenient for those of us who like to get near the stage on our feet.. If you must sit near the front of the stage, then please don’t get upset with people who like to stand near the stage.

Koivu and Kovalev Part Deux

Today the Ottawa Senators signed Alexei Kovalev, the enigmatic winger who spent the last few seasons in Montreal. In case you couldn’t tell, I’m a fan of the Montreal Canadiens. I was also a fan of Kovy, though he was frustrating to watch. Sens fans should be wary; he has the ability to be a game changer, when he wants to, but he also loses interest for long periods of time. I’m guessing most of you already know that.

This isn’t going to be a rant about Kovy. Rather, this is a rant about Habs fans. I hate most Habs fans. Habs fans are generally an obnoxious lot. Habs fans get out of control, behave inappropriately, are mouthy, and just generally not fun to be around. I can tolerate that and sometimes even participate. What bothers me right now is the lack of respect that Saku Koivu has received.

Over the weekend, there was a rally at the Bell Centre with the intention to sway Bob Gainey to re-sign Kovalev. Obviously it didn’t work. Eric Engels, one of my favourite Hab writers/bloggers said "I'd sooner attend a rally for Koivu". So what I really want to know is “where is the rally is for Saku?”

Kovalev spent 4 ½ seasons in Montreal (5 ½ if you count the lockout) and over that span he was arguably the most skilled forward Montreal had. I'm sad to see him go, but I'm also happy. As mentioned ad nauseum, he didn’t quite give his all every night, and certainly wasn’t the best on both sides of the ice. The $5 million he's getting from Ottawa is better spent elsewhere (though I'm not sure it was spent in the most efficient fashion).

Koivu spent his entire NHL career with Montreal; 13 seasons (14 with the lockout) with little support (see Brian Savage, Sergei Berezin, etc.). He showed up for the Habs every night and lead by example. He was great with and without the puck. He came back from a serious eye injury and a battle with cancer. The man is more courageous that Kovalev could ever be. Koivu could have left as a free agent before and chose to stay. He donated countless dollars to cancer research and equipment in the city. He put up with the media’s lack of respect for him with nothing but respect for them. He never said boo when they complained about him not speaking French or when he had that serious eye injury and the stupid photographers were taking flash photos.

Koivu is a man with courage and class. He will be sadly missed and all you Habs fans showing support for a wasted talent like Kovalev rather than Koivu should be ashamed.