It's About Time

Dick Jauron was fired as head coach of the Buffalo "We'll be in Toronto Soon and the Curmudgeon Will Not Have a Favourite Team" Bills. Jauron's record as head coach of the Bills was 24 wins and 33 losses.

If you don't know who Jauron is, he's the coach who stands motionless and emotionless on the sidelines while your team gets an easy win. That is unless your team is St. Louis, Detroit, Cleveland, Tampa Bay, or another bottom feeder. He's also the guy that looks like a shorter, skinnier version of Lurch. Basically like he's already been embalmed (come to think of it, he and Ralph Wilson have a lot in common).

What amazes me most about the story is that Jauron didn't see the firing coming. Four years to improve a football team and 4 years without passing 7 wins out of a 16 game season. Four years without improving an offense even after adding one of the best wide receivers of this era. Maybe that explains why he couldn't see blitzes coming in obvious passing situations; he just can't see anything.

I'd be happy about this move if it meant better things for the Bills in the future, but I doubt it. The Bills do not have a good record for hiring coaches in the post 90s era. Here are the Bills' coaches post Marv Levyand their records:

• Wade Phillips 29 wins 19 losses. Decent coaching record , but screwed up majorly by starting Rob Johnson at QB instead of Doug Flutie in the playoffs essentially costing him his job.
• Gregg Williams 17 wins 30 losses. Better defensive co-ordinator than head coach (see Redskins, Washington and Saints, New Orleans). Inexperienced when hired.
• Mike Mularkey 14 wins 18 losses. Mularkey or malarkey? Tight end coach now? Who knows and who cares?

Octogenarian Ralph Wilson had better take some time to hire a new coach and better spend some cash. There are some big names out there like Mike Shanahan, Jon Gruden, Bill Cowher, Mike Holmgren, Tony Dungy. Sure, some of them may not want to coach, but maybe we can have them be a football operations guy like Parcells in Miami. But that won't happen. They'll hire some second rate coach and continue their abysmal stretch until the eventual move to Toronto where they'll win a SuperBowl as the Toronto something or others and I'll hate it.

Finally Some Comeuppance

I couldn't help but feel some joy when Captain America threw a 3 yard pass to Kevin Faulk that Faulk juggled while being pushed back a yard and half on the 4th and 2 play of last night's Monday Night Football game. Faulk was ruled down at the Patriots 28 yard line giving Peyton Manning the ball with 2 minutes left. You may recall that Captain America and the Pats stomach punched me and the rest of the Bills fans on week 1 of the season. Yes, I am petty and spiteful.

It would have felt better if it were the Bills winning the game rather than the Colts, but it seemed appropriate since NBC was calling this game part of the rivalry of the decade. Plus, I've always like Peyton. He is arguably the best quaterback ever. And no, I don't buy the "Brady has more rings" argument as a reason he's better than Manning. Aikman has more rings than Marino, but nobody thinks he's a better QB (well, maybe Taylor, but he's not exactly an objective observer). I also think that Marino was the best QB of his era, SuperBowl wins or not.

As much as I'm glad Captain America didn't stage one of his miraculous comebacks, the loss rests squarely on Bill Bilichick's shoulders. Bilichick is the head coach. It was his call to me and he is viewed by many as the greatest coach working today. Maybe he started to believe his own press. Hubris caught up with him last night.

Bilichick's hubris is well documented. Sure, the press doesn't really call it hubris, but if you look back to the 18-1 (ha! 1) season and even the game against my beloved Bills, Bilichick always makes calls that reek of hubris. Going for it on 4th and 1 twice in a game against the Bills, running up the score in every game during the 2007 season and last night was the exclamation point.

You may not agree with me. You don't have to. But you can't disagree that last night's call was the wrong call and that Bilichick's arrogance (ok, you may not use that word) finally caught up with him.

Thank you Peyton, thank you rookie corner Jerraud Powers and thank you Bilichick's hubris. You made my night and gave me something to write about after a nearly month long absence. Now if only I could find something to say about Kovalev not producing.

Stomach Punch from Captain America

I didn't expect much of the Buffalo Bills this season until midway through last night's game against the hated Captain America and the New England Patriots. The Bills were ahead 14-10 after an interception by Aaron Schoebel. I began to think that win or lose this could be a decent season for the Bills. I also began to think the football Gods would not allow the Pats to win after arrogantly going for it on 4th and 1 at mid field then in Buffalo territory in the first half when conventional wisdom is to punt or take the 3 points.

Fast forward to 5:23 minutes left in the game after the Bills scored again to put them up 24-13 my pal Dino says "there's a scary amount of time left for Brady". It was the one thing I was thinking but didn't want to hear. People remember Buffalo's implosion last year and their previous poor seasons. What they don't remember is they tend to get ahead early then find a way to lose the game. So, knowing Buffalo's history and Captain America's mythical "win the game in dramatic fashion" history, I was sort of ready, or so I thought. I prepared as much as I could for the defeat but when it's Tom f'n Brady and the Pats it hurts no matter how prepared you are.

So the inevitable begins. Captain America leads his team on an 11 play drive to score a touchdown. The Pats go for 2 points, but the pass is intercepted. Maybe, just maybe, the football Gods are mad at the Pats. Then the Pats kick the ball off. Leodis McKelvin catches the ball in the endzone and rather than take a knee, he runs up the middle of the field and proceeds to fumble the ball at the Buffalo 31 yard line. The football Gods wanted you to take the knee, start at the 20 yard line and eat the clock. How freaking hard is that? So the Pats have great field position and the comeback continues.

The Pats went on to win 25-24. Now I like to think I'm ready for the season. A season probably better than most expect but a season with tough losses that the Bills should have hung on to win. I feel like a pugilist using a medicine ball on my gut to toughen it up for stomach punch after stomach punch. I'm ready. Then I remember a Mike Tyson quote. "Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face".