It was 1996, I was in my third year of university and MuchMusic was still playing videos (yea kids, MuchMusic used to play music videos, you didn't have to use YouTube). A single from a band called the Refreshments was in heavy rotation. That single, "Banditos", taught me the most important thing I've ever learned: the world is full of stupid people.
For example, it's 19 degrees Celsius, there's a 4 km/h wind, it's a beautiful day for a bike ride. So you hop on your bike and head where? Well to the bike path of course. The bike path is very much like a road or a highway. It is paved, it has a yellow line running down the middle and people always stay on the right hand side of the yellow line. Seems pretty straight forward, just like in a car right? But, the world is full of stupid people. So you see things like man on bike on left side of yellow line heading straight toward you, which in and of itself isn't so bad but man on bike on left side of yellow line is looking backwards talking to his friends while biking forward.
You don't have to be a cyclist (or whatever cyclists call me) to appreciate that the world is full of stupid people. If you have a car, take a drive to your local big box store shopping mall. Drive around in the parking lot using the ordinary rules of the road (signal lights, stay on the right hand side, pedestrians have the right of way, and so on). It won't take you too long to figure out that the world is full of stupid people.
If you don't have a car, head to a shopping mall during a busy time of year, particularly Christmas (yea, Christmas, F You! holiday season). Walk though that crowd long enough and you'll find people stopping mid-stride and causing train wrecks of rushed shoppers. If you're lucky, you'll see a gang of people congregating right at the bottom of an escalator or at the door of an elevator (The Luddite Times has a great elevator suggestion).
Don't think that I'm immune from the stupid virus. I erased my entire hard drive when I tried to reformat a single partition. I didn't read what the screen was telling me and wiped the wrong one. I also didn't pack my trunk properly and busted a tasty bottle of Beaus Beaver River. The world is full of stupid people. I'm sure you all have a few stupid people stories about other people and about yourself.
Why is this lesson so important you ask? The main reason this lesson is so important is that if you ever need to predict the behaviour of a person (whether you are biking and there is a person ahead of you or coming towards you, in a parking lot, walking in a mall, or doing anything else that requires you to predict another's behaviour) you'll be safe to assume that person is stupid and take the appropriate course of action.
Now I'm going to wrap this post up back where I started. I'm not sure if this is ironic or not, I'd ask Alanis Morisette, but she's stupid. The Refreshments went on to record the King of the Hill theme song, an animated tv show about a man and his family dealing with various stupid people in Arlen, Texas (see Gribble, Dale; Platter, Luane; Dauterive, Bill; and Lucky).
6 comments:
I really liked reading your post today. Except I was reminded of the time I cut you off in the Loblaw's parking lot years ago. I'm not immune to it either.
I don't recall that incident Annabelle, but I do recall we've shared a lot of stupid times together.
(Primo, thanks for the link the Elevator Grid).
I think the question is awareness. We all do stupid things, but most of us (I like to think) have a moment about a fraction of a second later where we slap our head and think "I just did that thing I hate".
It's when people think they are ENTITLED to their stupidity, like it's YOUR fault that you got bowled over by them running to catch the subway as the doors are closing. Walk for a couple of hours here in Bippity Town and you'll see that, in spades.
Also, The Refreshments released an underrated second album. Two of the songs from it (Fonder and Blonder & Good Year) have pretty much never left my personal soundtrack (more on that later).
The parking lot example is exponentially bad in the suburbs of Bippity Town. I won't say where, I'll just say it rhymes with Peter Frampton.
pigeon, dungeon, curmudgeon, are there any others? I am digging the "geon" sound lately. Great writing, yo.
how bout Jion Gomeshi?
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