Thursday, June 25, 2009

Money Can't Buy Happiness But It Can Beat a Murder Charge

I've always thought that people who say money can't buy happiness never had any money. Sure, it doesn't guarantee that you'll be happy, but it helps you buy bthings that go a long way to helping you be happy. It can also help to get you out of trouble.

Just last week, Donte Stallworth was found guilty of killing a pedestrian while driving drunk in Florida. Murder in my books, but the state of Florida allowed him to plea down to a charge of manslaughter. Donte (he doesn’t deserve the word Mr.) was sentenced to 30 days in jail and 2 years probation. Yes, 30 days in jail.

30.

Days.

One month for taking a life while driving drunk. Do you think if you were found guilty of taking someone’s life while intoxicated that you would only get 30 days in jail? I doubt you would because you don’t have the kind of money or celebrity status that Donte does.

I’m sure Donte didn’t just throw money at the court to make this all go away, but he did throw a lot of money at a defense team and who knows, maybe he threw a lot of money at the victim's family since they factored into Donte's settlement.

The fact that he was even driving drunk in the first place is beyond me. Just that day, Donte received a $4.5 million roster bonus from the Cleveland Browns. If I had $4.5 million I can assure you I wouldn't be driving my own ass around town, especially if I were out celebrating getting a fat pay cheque. I'd hire the biggest, toughest looking personal driver/bouncer around Florida to get me where I want to go and protect me from myself and drunk fans that like to pick fights with athletes.

Donte's not the first rich guy to get away with murder or other heinous crimes, the following is a list, just off the top of my head:

  • OJ

  • Michael Jackson

  • Ray Lewis

  • Ted Kennedy

  • William Shatner (look it up. Ok, it's a conspiracy, but I had to do it)
I'm sure I'm missing some easy ones, but I'm lazy right now. That doesn't even include the rich folks that we don't know about, CEOs, Princes, diplomats, etc. This seems to be a recurring issue with people with cash. They can pretty much do whatever they want because they can buy their way out of it.

This all reminds me of an episode of South Park where the kids went to visit Magic Johnson. They found that he slept with his bed full of money. Scientists studied this and discovered that money can cure aids, a $180,000 injection of cash could keep the virus at bay. While this is obviously satire, it's not far from the truth. Money can't buy you happiness, but it cure a lot of problems.




3 comments:

Don Mills said...

It's unfortunate that I included MJ in my column on the day he died. He was alive and well when I wrote it. It may seem insensitive, but I'm not going to amend it. The history of MJ is what it is.

G Valentino said...

Someone's death doesn't change that past. If they're worried about what people will say when they are gone, then they work on that when they're here....anyway.

You showed more restraint that I would have in the case of the post, because I think we both know which sports player got away with this not too long ago.

Which brings up a special case: the false contrition. Worse than buying their freedom, it's when someone stands up and says they've lost a friend, or a fan, because of their action and that they've learnt their lesson. Even worse when the aggrieved party buys that line.

I don't case if you-know-who felt really bad, so bad that he had to be traded from an expansion team to an established team, and the people bought his sad-puppy-dog face. He did what he did, someone died, and if you or I did that, we'd be strung up and rightfully so.

jessica said...

Personal accountability is key - and celebrities should be held accountable for their actions, especially when it comes to taking the life of another person, or any other crime for that matter. What sort of an example does it set, other than bad precedence?