It's About Time

Dick Jauron was fired as head coach of the Buffalo "We'll be in Toronto Soon and the Curmudgeon Will Not Have a Favourite Team" Bills. Jauron's record as head coach of the Bills was 24 wins and 33 losses.

If you don't know who Jauron is, he's the coach who stands motionless and emotionless on the sidelines while your team gets an easy win. That is unless your team is St. Louis, Detroit, Cleveland, Tampa Bay, or another bottom feeder. He's also the guy that looks like a shorter, skinnier version of Lurch. Basically like he's already been embalmed (come to think of it, he and Ralph Wilson have a lot in common).

What amazes me most about the story is that Jauron didn't see the firing coming. Four years to improve a football team and 4 years without passing 7 wins out of a 16 game season. Four years without improving an offense even after adding one of the best wide receivers of this era. Maybe that explains why he couldn't see blitzes coming in obvious passing situations; he just can't see anything.

I'd be happy about this move if it meant better things for the Bills in the future, but I doubt it. The Bills do not have a good record for hiring coaches in the post 90s era. Here are the Bills' coaches post Marv Levyand their records:

• Wade Phillips 29 wins 19 losses. Decent coaching record , but screwed up majorly by starting Rob Johnson at QB instead of Doug Flutie in the playoffs essentially costing him his job.
• Gregg Williams 17 wins 30 losses. Better defensive co-ordinator than head coach (see Redskins, Washington and Saints, New Orleans). Inexperienced when hired.
• Mike Mularkey 14 wins 18 losses. Mularkey or malarkey? Tight end coach now? Who knows and who cares?

Octogenarian Ralph Wilson had better take some time to hire a new coach and better spend some cash. There are some big names out there like Mike Shanahan, Jon Gruden, Bill Cowher, Mike Holmgren, Tony Dungy. Sure, some of them may not want to coach, but maybe we can have them be a football operations guy like Parcells in Miami. But that won't happen. They'll hire some second rate coach and continue their abysmal stretch until the eventual move to Toronto where they'll win a SuperBowl as the Toronto something or others and I'll hate it.

You Were Expecting Gretzky?

I've heard it said that the definition of crazy is repeatedly doing the same thing and expecting different results. So does that make Bryan Murray stark raving mad? Didn't he know what he was getting when he signed Alex "the artist" "AK-27" Kovalev?

I've watched Kovy for the past 5 years in a Habs uniform only to be frustrated, then dazzled, then further frustrated, then happy he was gone. Sure, he can be a game changer but more of than not he's lazy and uninterested.

Kovalev has four goals and four assists in 16 games, which puts him on pace for 41 points this season. That will change, he'll score a bunch for a week, then cool off again and likely end up somewhere near 50 points. You'd be crazy if you expected anything more.

Finally Some Comeuppance

I couldn't help but feel some joy when Captain America threw a 3 yard pass to Kevin Faulk that Faulk juggled while being pushed back a yard and half on the 4th and 2 play of last night's Monday Night Football game. Faulk was ruled down at the Patriots 28 yard line giving Peyton Manning the ball with 2 minutes left. You may recall that Captain America and the Pats stomach punched me and the rest of the Bills fans on week 1 of the season. Yes, I am petty and spiteful.

It would have felt better if it were the Bills winning the game rather than the Colts, but it seemed appropriate since NBC was calling this game part of the rivalry of the decade. Plus, I've always like Peyton. He is arguably the best quaterback ever. And no, I don't buy the "Brady has more rings" argument as a reason he's better than Manning. Aikman has more rings than Marino, but nobody thinks he's a better QB (well, maybe Taylor, but he's not exactly an objective observer). I also think that Marino was the best QB of his era, SuperBowl wins or not.

As much as I'm glad Captain America didn't stage one of his miraculous comebacks, the loss rests squarely on Bill Bilichick's shoulders. Bilichick is the head coach. It was his call to me and he is viewed by many as the greatest coach working today. Maybe he started to believe his own press. Hubris caught up with him last night.

Bilichick's hubris is well documented. Sure, the press doesn't really call it hubris, but if you look back to the 18-1 (ha! 1) season and even the game against my beloved Bills, Bilichick always makes calls that reek of hubris. Going for it on 4th and 1 twice in a game against the Bills, running up the score in every game during the 2007 season and last night was the exclamation point.

You may not agree with me. You don't have to. But you can't disagree that last night's call was the wrong call and that Bilichick's arrogance (ok, you may not use that word) finally caught up with him.

Thank you Peyton, thank you rookie corner Jerraud Powers and thank you Bilichick's hubris. You made my night and gave me something to write about after a nearly month long absence. Now if only I could find something to say about Kovalev not producing.

I'm Glad That's Over

What a week! Last night officially ended the worst week I've had in a while.

It started last Saturday. I was playing squash with a couple of friends and ran cross court for a ball that I should have let drop. Instead I pushed it and my foot turned inside effectively turning my ankle into the ball of my foot. The ankle is not built for that. Turns out I have an avulsion fracture (when a ligament or tendon pulls and takes a piece of the bone it's attached to with it). I'm in an air cast for at least 4 weeks and stuck walking around on crutches. So it seems that being lazy wouldn't have been such a bad idea.

If you've ever had to walk with crutches you know how much of a pain in the ass it is. It's hard getting to the bathroom let alone the grocery store. I've got a feeling that after 4 weeks my right calf will be a toothpick but my upper body will be rock solid. I'll look like Joe from Family Guy (without the wheels).

Not only is walking with crutches a pain in the ass, but people are rude and inconsiderate. I want to make it clear that this doesn't apply to all people. My friends and colleagues have been amazing in getting me where I need to go, helping me get groceries, and most importantly, delivering beer. But the general public completely blocks you out; no holding doors, no stepping aside to let you through; expecting you to get out of the way quickly. It amazes me. I know it shouldn't, given my past post on how stupid the world is. I just though that people, although being stupid, were at least considerate.

Anyway, I've got a week in walking with crutches and 3 more to go. It's no so bad now. I even crutched my way to a salon (shut up) to get a head and neck massage (I said shut up) and a haircut. On my way home I stopped for some organic veggies (btw, you should read Rachelle's blog, she's had some posts about local organic stuff in Ottawa and Dawn's blog, about local food with a focus on preserving) and it wasn't so bad. I was a sweaty mess, but still, it is possible to be normal-ish on crutches (next week the pub).

If that were the only thing that happened this week this post would be a bit of a call to 9-wah-wah. Nope, that is not all. I was lying down (which I do a lot now) watching old episodes of Lost waiting for my laundry to dry and I heard an accident; screeching tires and metal hitting metal. "That was close to here" I thought and milliseconds later I hear a loud bang. "That was really close" I thought.

So I grab my crutches and hobble over to the kitchen to check outside. My kitchen door is wide open. There is red brick dust all over the floor and even some pieces of brick. My front step is full of bricks. Then I notice a woman standing in my driveway on the cell phone saying "there's been an accident, the car is on fire".

It hit me immediately. The car hit my house. I'm gimpy and there's nothing I can do. I call my buddy Ryan to come by in case I have to split (gas line, power, etc.). He shows up not long after and, in true Mesheau fashion, is amazed/delighted by what he is seeing. Luckily, nobody was hurt, though there may or may not be a missing cat.

From what the police could put together, a red car hit a white Honda Civic on O'Connor and Lewis (I live here, at 438 Lewis Street). The air bags in the Civic deployed and the driver likely stepped on the gas instead of the brake. He clipped a stop sign (here's a new, temporary sign),


went through the fence (see above and below),


bounced off the corner near my entrance,





down the lane way, and into a concrete wall.



I think it's neat now, but it was dangerous. Had I been outside BBQ-ing, smoking or walking down the lane to get my laundry I'd be either dead or seriously injured. It'd be hard to jump out of the way on one leg.

Crazy week. But it could be worse. My friend lost his job and my cousins have swine flu. Perspective is everything huh?